Today in the Courier-Journal of Louisville, Kentucky, columnist Bettye Baye' writes an insightful perspective on the larger issue of domestic violence and other glossed-over realities within the church as it relates to the latest developments of prophetess Juanita Bynum and Bishop Thomas Weeks III.Here is an exert:
The beautiful bride of such recent memory was reportedly choked, kicked and stomped by Bishop Weeks, from whom she already was estranged, in the parking lot of a hotel near the Atlanta airport. A meeting reputedly intended to see whether the marriage could be patched up clearly went badly. A bellhop who saw the incident pulled Weeks off his wife.
The bishop, charged with aggravated assault, spent six hours in the Fulton County Jail before being released on $40,000 bond. If his wife sees the case through, she may deliver her greatest service and sermon to female followers.
Estimates are that anywhere from 950,000 to 3 million women are physically abused each day in America by so-called intimate partners. A 1998 survey found that nearly one-third of American women claimed to have been physically or sexually abused by an intimate partner sometime in their lives.
"It's happening in every ZIP code and every area code," said Denise Vazquez Troutman, president and CEO of the Center for Women and Families. The Center, which opened Kentucky's first domestic violence shelter for women in 1977, today has a 24-hour hot line and eight regional locations.
"Faith leaders," Troutman said, "must speak out against domestic violence," and should institute protocols within their own institutions that support victims and that support domestic violence shelters -- for example, by publishing hot line numbers and information about services for victims in bulletins and newsletters, and placing domestic violence literature in heavily traveled areas.
The aim, Troutman said, is "to create a faith community environment in which domestic violence isn't tolerated."
Ah, but there's the rub, according to Rev. Renita Weems, former Cosby professor of humanities at Atlanta's Spelman College. Within the church, "We have not been taught, not even by some of our most powerful women preachers, how to challenge abuse."
The terrorism that we commonly call domestic violence has produced such horrifying findings, for example, as the fact that 324,000 pregnant women in America every year are victims; that, on average, more than three women a day are murdered by their supposedly significant others, and that the health-related costs (direct medical and mental health services) for this violence exceed $5.8 billion a year. Moreover, violence against females starts early, often when they're dating in high school.
Men are victims of women's domestic violence, too, but women are much more likely to be killed.
Betty Winston BayƩ is a Courier-Journal editorial writer and columnist. Her column appears Thursdays in the Community Forum.



















8 comments:
I don't see how anyone could have any respect for the leadership of Ms. Bynum if she doesn't pursue the criminal charges against her husband and divorce him.
pinky
Have anyone heard of this story? Apparently, Juanita Bynum helped coerce another woman to conceal her assault from Bishop Weeks:
Weeks Showed Violence Against Other Women Say Followers
http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=EF877769275E130316CF1DD73B8A1F29?contentId=4197893&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
The real story here is that Juanita Bynum -- now a victim of violence herself -- apparently helped to victimize another women by unduly influencing her to keep quiet.
How come noone's talking about this?
I posted a reply to the article by Betty Baye in the Louisville Paper and stated then as I have stated even on your blog that, this issue is deep rooted in the church and we have to began to speak out about it and develop protocol about the issues. More Men Pastors and Leaders must stand up and join the plight to end domestic violence. I am often alone as a Black Clergy and Advocate for over 15 years.
The issue here is not about losing respect for Juanita Bynum if she doesn't pursue criminal charges or not; the real issue here is the conflict between her faith, her love and her response. Her dilema is not unlike most victims of domestic violence;she to is searching for the whys and what ifs. She carries great influence and yet it seems almost unfair that she has all of a sudden become the poster child for domestic violence in the Faith Community. I remind you that there are thousands of Jane and Mary Q. Member 's whose crys fall on deaf ears even in some of our most "prominent" churches.
I applaud you and Betty Baye and others for attempting to bring light to the mayhem that have come to the forefront as a result of the Juanita Bynum's domestic violence tragedy of last week.
I have been on the front lines addressing the issue of domestic violence for over 15 years, I have spoken to nearly 28,000 middle and high school students; I have conducted seminars and trainings at colleges and universities as well as have spoken in conferences, seminars and symposiums for coalitions, faith, governmental and children organizations.
I have blogged and replied to similar stories concerning this most recent incident of domestic violence and have received an array of responses including a few that felt as if I was being crast because you see I am also a Pastor, a male pastor at that. I want to state upfront that I believe that we must get more pastors and more men to stand up and speakout against domestic violence. This issue is larger than Juanita Bynum and Bishop Weeks. My concern for many years is about Jane & Mary Q. Member that sits in church pews suffering in silence and no one hears their cry. My concern is about the perpetrators that are never held accountable and therefore can never began to be reformed.
I regret that anyone would feel as if my statements are crast. I assure you that it is not my intention. I hope that my statements would do some real good in the midst of this painful situation. I have received many calls from all over the country from those that are now seeking to find out more about this silent issue in the church. I have had one or two calls from women that were initially upset because I didn't condemn Bishop Weeks neither did I overly state my support of Juanita Bynum; but after speaking to me they too realize that I was actually being there for the many that have suffered in silence. Let me reiterate what I said before; this issue of Domestic Violence is greater than Juanita Bynum and Bishop Weeks. My concern is for the thousands of women that are being abused and have been abused that is sitting in congregations all over this country and yet there cry goes unheard. I have been involved in this work for over 15 years and have interviewed many women that have suffered in silence in the church because (1) the pastor never addressed domestic violence (2) the Pastor re-victimized the victim by not believing them (3) the pastor simply was unequipped to deal with it (4) Pastor co-counseled her and the husband and she was ostracized by the church (5) the pastor gave a prescription for a romantic night as if lack of romance was the cause of the abuse (6) Pastor told her to be more submissive to her husband (7) Pastor stood with the perpetrator. There are many more reasons that I have encountered as well as the few Spirit Filled Pastors or Counselors that have worked in this field.
I have been part of many symposiums and conferences and I have seen the sponsors mail out 1500 letters to Pastors and Clergy to attend Domestic Violence Workshops and Symposiums and yet the sponsors only received response from 25 pastors or churches and only 7 of those attended the workshop. What I am simply saying is that the Church has pretended that this issue did not exist but the reality it exists across denominational and ethnic lines.
I am taking the time to thoroughly explain my comments because I want you to know my heart here in this matter. Nine years ago, I had a first cousin who murdered his wife on her 27th birthday in front of their 3 1/2 year old son by stabbing her in the back with a Fishing Knife as shed fled from him. They were both members of a Gospel Singing Group and they attended the same church. I was in deep pain after that incident for many reasons. I agonized because I wish that I had been closer to him or her so that they could have contacted me and I could have possibly walked them through some of their issues. I have a niece, whose mother was ran over and killed by her boyfriend when my niece was only 10 years of age; that niece graduated from high school in Alabama this year.
I am simply stating to you that there are hundreds of cases that I have dealt with including several First Ladies suffering in silence because they feel trapped and the church at large has failed to deal with the issue as a whole.
In closing , I want you to know that I did reach out to Prophetess Bynum after this event. I called her office on last Friday morning and spoke to one of her staff members. I conveyed my prayers, empathy and offered my ministry and expertise to them; I only hope that they will contact me or someone that is anointed to address this issue because she needs Godly support from people who isn't interested in riding the wave of her name. She also needs someone that would be candid with her and speak the truth in love. Her response to this tragedy will impact many women; it is important that she doesn't come across angry and vengeful but sober with her words seasoned with grace.
I want you to also know that I also called Bishop Weeks office and left a message on Tuesday, August 28th and I offered the same to him because they both need ministering too (separately). I plan to send them both a copy of my 2 part Cd entitled "Domestic Violence and the Silent Church" it can be a great start of dialogue , introspection and healing for them and for the Body of Christ.
I hope you have heard my heart on this matter; I welcome your response. If you have any further questions please feel free to contact me on my urgent line at (561) 516-0069. Please feel free to visit my website at www.destinybychoice.org.
I travel and do symposiums, trainings and seminars across the country. I hope that I can be of assistance to those that have no voice or those that would like to partner in the efforts of addressing domestic violence.
In His Service!
Pastor J.R. Thicklin
_________________
Hey Koliver:
I posted this home made video of the television report yesterday (see below). However, thanks for this link because it shows a clearer version of the story.
We continue to pray healing for the family, for the ministry and for all those within the church.
CBW
Pastor Thicklin:
Thanks so much for your comments here. Earlier I wrote a post questioning the next steps concerning church leadership in response to this very matter suffered by women in the church everyday. What you share is very consistent with the defining silence.
What would have if women found another way to engage in worship and essentially boycotted the church in response to the is issue? I bet you the churches would begin addressing then.
I look forward to visiting your site and hope to write more on what you are doing to address the issue later.
Just because a church is churhc doen't mean there shouldn't be any accountability.
Blessings to you and what you do Pastor,
CBW
Thank you so much for covering this subject. I've been ruminating over this subject since I first heard the story a few weeks ago.
Ms. Bynum has been exposed as a phony. She worked really hard to paint the perfect picture of married life with Bishop Weeks. Whatever was wrong with the marriage was laid bare the moment Bishop Weeks was alleged to kicked and stomped Ms. Bynum in the hotel parking lot.
Thanks for covering this subject. Domestic violence is unacceptable even when it involves Ms. Bynum. I've linked you at my blog (again):
blackheadband.blogspot.com
Kim
Please visit www.mulloverthis.wordpress.com for a blog on Juanita Bynum as the face of domestic violence. There is no Q about the existence of domestic abuse within the ranks of clergy in the church, and the culture that perpetuates it by first, not wanting to "hear" about it, keep it within the walls of the home.
I will be sure to check this out. Thanks for the info.
Post a Comment